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Dad’s New Teeth
by
Yvonne Powell
I’m going to the Dentist’
My Dad said with chagrin
I've been waiting three weeks now
until he could fit me in.
Why is there something wrong?
I asked my poor old Dad
Aren't they feeling too good?
they’re the best you ever had!
‘Well you know I've had no bottom set
since Moses was a lad
and chewing meat and other stuff
it’s awkward – just a tad’!
So off he went to be fitted up
with new gnashers top and bottom
Dentist said within two days
you’ll hardly know you've got ‘em!
But two days passed, Dad didn't like
his new set of pearlie whites
he went back to the dentist
and what he learned gave him a fright!
Dentist took the teeth away
to his Nurse said ‘Sterilise’!
there’s been a little mix up
my Dad learned to his surprise.
These teeth belonged to another bloke
no wonder they didn’t fit
‘Am I breaking them in for someone else
C’mon you must admit’
‘It’s a joke it can’t be true’
My poor Dad did exclaim
Dentist said 'I’m sorry Sid
but he has a similar name'
I’ve got your gnashers right here now
here let me put them in!
Dad sat waiting mouth open wide
across his face a wicked grin.
Pearlies fit quite nicely
Dentist checked for gaps
Sid bit down so slightly
then there was a slight mis-hap!
Did I do something I oughtn’t?
My dad said with a grin
'Yes you bit my fingers slightly
when my hand I had shoved in'
Oops! sorry mate! my Dad replied
with a twinkle in his eye
'that was just in case you had another
set of teeth for me to try'.
There’s a moral to this story
when fitting brand new pearlies
don’t put yourself in danger
you've got to watch those wicked twerlies1!!!
Yvonne C Powell © 2003
1 Twerlies?
Yvonne says:
Twerlies:
I was told this by my brother-in-law - he was a bus driver with West Midland Transport for 17 years out of West Bromwich.
Pensioner bus passes aren't really allowed to be used before 9.30 am on weekdays. However, many of the oldies often tried to get on the buses earlier than this..... and when told that 'It's no half past 9 yet love' the reply usually was,
wait for it..............
"Am I too early" - hence the shortened version to Twerlie!!
That's possibly only one of a host of explanations but I think it's funny and reflects Black Country Humour perfectly.
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