POETRY

Ar Cor See by Jack Tried ter brush me teeth lass nite, Worr ar got left on ‘em any road, Ar coodn’t get the top off the tube ‘cos, They’m flip tops now, soo arm tode. Ar woz twistin’ wen ar shooda bin flippin’, Burra just coodn’t see, yer see? Theese glasses am ruddy comickal, Burrit wor ser funny for me. An after ard ad a good close shaerve, Thort I’d teez the opposite sex, ‘Er wor impressed by the smell thow, Ard ‘splashed’ with the bluddy Optrex. Theez glasses o’ mine am useless, Arv mended em now soo offen, An’ the grankids catch out an’ scratch ‘em, If ar cood just see ‘em, ard stop ‘em. They’ve ad it, ar gorra get new uns, Cos th’ode garden, it suffers as well, Ar cor tell the weeds from the flowers, So valley lillies am saerme as bluebell. Arv pruned the privet a treat now, Shood get sum nice blooms this year, Arv filled me lighter wi’ polish, Put ‘coke’ in me glass, ‘stead o’ beer. Salt in me tay ‘stead o’ sugar, An’ shaervins full o’ disasters, Th’ode wench sez “use thelectric, Arm fed up buyin’ boxes of plasters”. Faerce like a box o’ frogs anyroad, Burr ‘oll atter do summat soon, Cos ‘om slicin’ me chops off bit by bit, Arm almost daern ter the boon. So pint me ter the opticions, Arl do summat abowt it, yowl see, (Which is moor than arve dun fer years), Dow care how much it’ll be. I now wattel appen then thow, Arl march right inter the shop, An eel say “We don’t do glarsses here sir, This is the High Street Co-Hop”.

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